soul rumblings

If I were of age today would be one of those days where I would make myself a stiff drink. As such, I gotta wait 7 more months for that happy day, so here I am making text posts on tumblr instead.

Thank God I’m done for the day :/

You ever have one of those days where you feel like giving up?

I had a series of very upsetting dreams last night, about being scared and upset but being ignored, about my best friends ignoring me and telling me to go away. People I love are hurting and no matter what I do it doesn’t stop for them, which makes me feel useless and worthless. It’s gray outside, I feel sick to my stomach and I just don’t want to live right now. I want to curl up into a ball under my covers and cry until I throw up and then sleep through the rest of forever.

I give up.

firebirdandthelemonady replied to your post: So I did order a scrapbook, some paper, protective…

SAME except i don’t even get stuff i order because hahaHA NO MONEY— i like getting letters but they get lost too oftens cries. have fun!

The school post office has lost letters for me as well ;____; I think we should overthrow the postal system and make them deliver letters in a prompt fashion in PERSON so they won’t get lost ever >: 

So I did order a scrapbook, some paper, protective sleeves and two types of adhesive, plus ink for my printer. *rubs hands together in glee*

Also the other reason I wanted to get this stuff is I miss getting mail :/ The only thing I’ve gotten in the mail this year has been stuff from the college or things I’ve ordered for myself. Mom used to send me stuff sometimes but I’m not a freshman anymore so she doesn’t, and my high school friends always say they will but they never do…so the only way I can get mail is by ordering things for myself.

…I lead such a sad existance.

firebirdandthelemonady replied to your post: ]]> firebirdandthelemonady replied to your post:…

I WOULD HAVE PROBABLY SLAPPED THINGS ON whoops. *doesn’t like handywork* *or working on albums and things* *would have probably just used a big notebook with normal paper* good luck!

Ahahaha no that’s totally what I do most of the time I just wanted to try doing it the legit way? I want it to last and not fall apart when I take it with me ;A; Lol I don’t know the last time I tried to do this was like 5 years ago and it was really sloppy so hopefully this time it’ll look a bit nicer xD;;;; I’m not the crafty type at all I just…want a book with my precious pictures in it ok ;A; kasdgjkhdfgljf. Anyway. Yes. Good. Thank you :D

firebirdandthelemonady replied to your post: ]]> firebirdandthelemonady replied to your post:…

i don’t have a smartphone either LOL— that’s all Izaya is basically good for lately o.O kjfklfgj LOL if i were you i’d just buy a really big notebook with white paper and use that,

Pffffft troll little Izaya D: Pictures on my phone don’t even look good, heehee.

I think I’ve got it figured out; I found white paper :D I’m like actually kind of excited now and ffff. 

firebirdandthelemonady replied to your post: So lately I’ve really been wishing that I had some…

id do it if i had a printer so! it’s not silly ehehe it’s the same as keeping them in your phone (basically what i do)

I’d keep them in my phone if I had a smart phone but my phone is pretty old school xD

I’m looking through all this scrapbook stuff now and I had NO IDEA it was so involved all I want is white paper I don’t need flowers or crap just give me white paper is that so hard holy wow

So lately I’ve really been wishing that I had some way to take all the pictures on my computer with me. Like, all the gifts I have from my friends, all the stuff that’s on my wall, things like that. So…the craft store I subscribe to is having a sale on scrapbook stuff and I’m seriously considering looking through and getting a book and buying more printer ink so I can make one. I think it would help cheer me up too ./////. B-but I don’t know if it’s a silly idea or or

So I don’t know…does that sound like a legit idea to try??? ;A;

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I’m really in the mood to punch something. Or just generally be destructive or weep loudly.

My film didn’t develop and I have prints due tomorrow; granted, I don’t think they’re graded so I might be able to get away with something but idk. Just really really frustrated.

firebirdandthelemonady replied to your post: ]]> firebirdandthelemonady replied to your post:…

(you can tag replied with people’s names? i tag with urls …. sometimes lol) eeeee ♥ i really do hope it picks up then ;A; *MORE HUGS*

That would probably be easiest, huh? 8D;;;;

I’m sure it will ;A; I just need to go to class and get distracted so I don’t feel crappy anymore =3=

firebirdandthelemonady replied to your post: Still super tired because the doctor’s office woke…

good morning, Erin! i woke up at 6 today so i know the feeling ugh *hugs* hope your day goes well!

Morning Nicooooooo <333333333333333

Yeah this is added to the fact that I woke up once every 3 hours last night so I’m really not rested at all :/ So my mood is…I feel really weird, not too pleased right now xD I hope that the rest of the day picks up, thank you ;A; *hugssss* 

Still super tired because the doctor’s office woke me up by calling at 8.

I respect that the rest of the civilized world is up by 8 but I am a college student who doesn’t have her first class until 10 so you better believe I’m still asleep at 8. I have now been robbed of an hour of precious sleep time and I am incensed.

Also have a meeting with my advisor today and I gotta go develop my film which I’m sure will have problems with it, but I don’t think the assignment is graded yet still so I might be ok? Mondays. I hate Mondays. There better be good cookies at Servo today.

So Katlin and I successfully watched all of Madoka tonight. 5 hours of gushing over pretty animation and more than a few tears were shed and there was lots of “WHY DIDN’T YOU MAKE ME WATCH THIS SOONER” on her part so I feel like my mission was accomplished.

And then Becca came home and we gushed to her and many Madoka feelings were exchanged with glee and then the following conversation happened:

Apparently I’m predictable or something idk. <333333

Also I won’t be here for most of the day tomorrow because I have a field trip for art history. Incase you were wondering P:

So the plan for tonight is to watch Madoka with Katlin. Out of the four roommates she’s the only one who hasn’t seen it yet.

I’m totally bringing my Kyuubey plushie downstairs and seeing how long it takes before she wants to throw it across the room :D Even though she basically knows what happens already she always has the best reactions so I’m looking forward to it~